Lady and the tramp

Curled up on the bus on the journey home last night. Not lady-like i know but this is what happens when you put me in flats. Interestingly enough, despite not feeling like a lady, i sure behaved like one when this drunkard approached me at the bus window and proceeded to wiggle his tongue furiously at me. Absolutely foul.

The Outrage!

I can't sleep so here we go. I shall relate my experience of feeling intensely outraged today.

First off, I was on my way home and at *every* stage there was a chick on crutches blocking up the stairs up and out or in and down in the Underground.

Now, I know that makes me sound like a dreadful person but it didn't actually bother me until I sat down on the train and ..

*clkclack...clkclack....clkclack...* And there she was...the Crocodile to my Captain Hook. And she plonked herself down in front of me.

Again, this would not normally irritate me.

A woman sat down next to me and the Crocodile says to her 'O watch out for my leg. I need to have it stretched out. Because I broke it'. Woman politely asks what happened. Crocodile responds smugly 'Skiing'.

AGAIN not a problem.

Then the problem happened. It happened! SHE GOT ON THE PHONE! I hate it when people get on the phone on trains. Specially when you're at a shared table thingy...on a quiet train. It's a total lack of respect for the people around you. I always get off the phone when I get on the train (unless it's not quiet). Uff!!
And the conversations?!
First: On the phone to mum, about her leg and her physio;
Second: On the phone to some guy, about her leg and her physio and how nice it is to get away from London for a while and being at home;
Third: On the phone to some chick, about her leg and her physeio and how nice it is to get away from London for a while and being at home just relaxing and being with the family;
Fourth: Long conversation on the phone about how she's been invited to the Hunters' Ball by Flora. Flora says dress code is pretty relaxed and you could get away with just wearing a long dress. Ths is great because it will hide her foot and yet she can still look like everyone else. You know FLORA has a closet full of long dresses. Hunters' Ball looks fun, just hanging around with some friends over some drinks. Hopefully my leg will be ok by then.

*sound of scratching record*
WAIT A MINUTE, did I just say MY LEG?! O yes! She talked for the entire twenty minute journey. Got in my head. Hate her. HATE HATE HATE. SMASH SMASH SMASH.
Hunting in my opinion is a no-no. I understand that foxes can be a pest and I guess sure, those who live in the country would know best whether culling is required. However, I don't feel that chasing a fox down after hours on your horse with your frikkin' dogs chasing it until it's out of it's mind in fear, then setting upon it and ripping it to shreds, is humane (wow long sentence).

So I didn't hate her THAT much but ogh the hunting infuriated me...That's all for now.
Tomorrow, I'll relate my supreme lame-ness from today. ^^

Monday Morning, Pre-10 AM Stories

#1: In Victoria, I saw a wonderful camel-coloured boxer dog. Looked to be about 6 months old. Every few moments, its owner would tug it by the leash so hard, it would be pulled up onto its hind legs! This happened more than three times and I just couldn't stop watching. Why? Because just after each tug, when the pup was released, it would turn up and look at its owner with such a beseeching expression: 'Why are you doing this? I expected so much more from you'
Heinous anthropomorphisation there.


#2: 'Where yer roads would be, there's Wa-a!*'
Exclaimed the woman walking ahead of me along exhibition road. With her manner of speech, she sweepingly marred the description of Venice.
Her friend responds, 'Wo'! You mean no cars!'
I didn't expect such chavviness in South Kensington. Specially when I had just journeyed in from Croydon-land of the Chav.


#3: Perfect photo moments. As I was coming up Exhibition Road, a flock of pigeons suddenly took flight. Don't get me wrong, I think they are flying vermin. However, with the sky cllouded over, and looking up at the dome of the Victoria and Albert museum, with the pigeons peppering from the bottom right to the top left of the sky (in what would have been the frame). It was just a perfect moment. And I wish I had had my camera with me.

#4: What's worse than both those seperate events is the following; entering uni, and hearing Beyonce screeching out of the radio in the little canteen. Beyonce. She knows how to make one word go on for several bars no? I wish she would just stop. It feels like since leaving Destiny's Child, there's no one to restrain her and stop her warbling to her hearts content.


#5: Britain's obsession with the gruesome. Before I left the house today, I turned on the TV and it just happened to be on the channle broadcasting GMTV. As ever, on the hour, the news at 7 began. First story? Baby P. It's as though our Island is in the thrall of the tragedy that is Baby P. The facebook group has over 153000 members. The captions on the photos in this group are all along the line of 'You were too good for this world gorgeous baby-RIP'.
Is this today's equivalent of heart felt words? Empty words. It's crazy.
And it's not the first time that the British public has gone completely nuts about the latest abused child and managed to stretch the story out for 6months or more. I mean, to name a few, Holly (was it Molly?) and Jessica, Madeleine and now 'Baby P'.
Common factors? All blonde blue eyed arian children.
But people focus on one death for months. I'm sorry, but I guess I've become desensitised to this.
There are children being abused all over the world, dying in dire circumstances, children riddled with injuries from a war they don't understand, and all the British public can go ON about is One blonde kid. I think it's sad that our media can't shed light on more injustices in the world. I think it's sad that the people of this land are so..simple. So simple to get het up over one injustice, and are completely unaware, or simply being ignorant of how wide the world is.
Sometimes, I feel as though the public glean some sort of perverse pleasure out of feeling this false sympathy for kids like Baby P. Like, by joining a facebook group, and slagging off the mother shows that they are compassionate people, and they've done their bit.

When is enough, enough?

Might trick me once

I had the most beautiful customer yesterday at the Hawk. Its times like these that i think ill miss the Damn place when i leave.
O he was the wonderful. And hes coming back today! So i pull out my little book of rules thats been gathering years of dust and look for some advice. It was not as forthcoming as i thought it would be.
Stelli says i should just let things roll freely. Wokit suggested going in to the Hawk for 10 so i dont miss him if he comes in. Yoohoo tells me im a freak. But yoohoo cant exactly talk.
Im taking stelli's advice but with a little dash of some orchestrated interference from Red.

Smile

"Smile,it's friday!" he says as he walks by me.
Oddly enough,i find myself smiling like a loony. Did i actually look so grumpy that he felt he ought to instruct me to smile? Do i always look that grumpy? Was it something i had initially devised to ward off the pervs and weirdos but now just makes me look mean and grr?
I dont know if i should try to look more approachable now ... I read about this thing called the bella figura. Its where if you look open and approachable and smiling the world will literally smile with you.

Smile. It's friday.