Chai latte

Didn't kill me either. Rather nice. You know how we love the italians. O yes. Never to return to starbucks again...until i crave it severely... Ssh..i didnt say that.

Chai Steamer

It didn't kill me. Not bad at all.

Lady and the tramp

Curled up on the bus on the journey home last night. Not lady-like i know but this is what happens when you put me in flats. Interestingly enough, despite not feeling like a lady, i sure behaved like one when this drunkard approached me at the bus window and proceeded to wiggle his tongue furiously at me. Absolutely foul.

My nude awakening

Today, I made up a new word.
It is:

NudieBoard:

A collection of images from trashy magazines of things you like in compromising positions, with a similar colour scheme. ie. flesh tones.

Example:
Phyl: So I have this mood board of the things that I like. Purple and pink things yknow?
Syl: No you don't! It's all in flesh tones! NUDE
Mozz: It's a NUDIEBOARD!!

Playlists

Hmm. Lately, I can't say I've been sleeping well. There is no clear reason for this. However, to balance out the uncoolness of the lack of good sleep, I've been putting playlists together to suit my moods.

I've even asked a few friends to put together playlists for me. So, my request to you is this; if you've got nothing better to do, please, write a playlist for me. Just a series of songs that suit eachother, and would be good to listen to. Things you like. Things I like. Things that remind you of good times. Things that remind you of bad times. Whatever. Put the songs together. Recent, old, in English, not in English. All is welcome.

Here is a current goodie of a playlist someone sent me:

Taeyang - Only Look at Me
Taeyang - Make Love
Drake - Best I Ever Had
Wheesung - Insomnia
Super Junior - Why I Like You
Super Junior - It’s You
Cobra Starship - Good Girls Go Bad
Untouchable - My Boo
All American Rejects - I Wanna
Nine Days - Absolutely (Story of a Girl)
Boyz II Men - Down on Bended Knee
Big Bang - We Belong Together
Big Bang - Come Be My Lady
Gym Class Heroes - Cupids Chokehold
Robin Thicke - Lost Without You
AJ Rafael - She Was Mine
AJ Rafael - Showstopper
The Maine - Everything I Ask For
The Maine - I Must Be Dreaming
Craig David - Officially Yours
Elliot Yamin - Wait For You
Extreme - More Than Words
J Holiday - Suffocate
Jason Mraz - I’m Yours
Keri Hilson - Knock You Down
Shayne Ward - Breathless
Taio Cruz – She’s Like a Star

Green Tea.

You're the one who'll be drugged to get wed to Gyasi and you'll get married in that Ilford Cultural centre.
Or if you're really swanky, in the East London Msque Hall. And you'll turn up in some old school merc outside ELM and you'll be wearing a black coat over your wedding outift.
Which would be a REALLY glittery red ...and gold.....


JEANS AND HOODY!
Then Gyasi will turn up with a giant beard, dressed in that brown duffle coat of his, in a safari jeep. And Yoshi will turn around and go, OMG, Gyasi's grown a beard. And she'll have that face on.
Then, she'll spot Mooby, hot on Gyasi's heels and say 'O he's nice' and she'll be planning how to do the bridesmaid-best man connection thing.
When SUDDENLY, MI6 arrive and cart off Gyasi. Why? Because he is brown, young, bearded and from East London.
And so you'll have to marry Mooby! And Yoshi will be hugely jealous....UNTIL!!
HiMar arrives! All dressed up in black and white checked regalia. And makes the announcement!! THAT LEON IS SUNNI!!
And Yoshi rushes into his arms!
And the Mullah begins the process of marrying Yoshi/Leon and You/Mooby.
But THEN!
Nimbura grabs the mic...to make ANOTHER announcement...he seems serious.
'Could the owner of the Aston Martin Vanquish double marked by the 80s merc (the bridal vehicle) please remove itself. It is blocking up the main road'
Typical East london style.
BUT BUT BUT!!
It's none other than Bafta! And she comes running!!
To announce that she has fallen for Nimbura and they are getting married!
SHOCKER OF THE CENTURY!!
You faint.
Yoshi faints.
NIMBURA faints!!
Bafta realises she's not making sense and has been drugged! SO SHE FAINTS TOO!!
It was something in her tea.
I'm left holding the mic with the hall spontaneously FAINTING around me...
AND THEN!!
AND THEN! Daniel Henney walks in! AND HE PROPOSES TO ME!!
I ask him if I'll be able to tell people or whether we should keep it quiet. He says it's fine and he'll pick me up after the wedding.
And like a dream, he leaves.
BUT THEN YOU GUYS COME AROUND! And I try and try and try to tell you he came and proposed! But none of you believe me.
I think it may have been something in my tea.
The Mullah returns after his extended bathroom break and you guys try to marry me off to him! Since he's he only single guy going!
AND THEN!
GUACAMOLE GETS IN ON THE ACTION!
She swans in on the arm of that french model dude.
But....her eyes meet with someone's across the room...
She slips away from the model man...
She's drifting across the 'dancefloor'...
Past the DJ you hired to play bhangra...
Dodging the mad Xena and her dance partner Ras Malaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai..
Shoes sticking to the fallen jalebis and the party popper strings we popped earlier in announcement of yours and Mooby's wedding..
AND STRAIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF NONE OTHER THAN JACK DANIELS!!

SHOCKER OF THE MILLENIUM!!
Meanwhile, Bafta is coming around, and now wants Jack Daniels too.
Nimbura feels on more steady ground and goes and marries his best friend in secret...
Bafta and Guacamole start fighting..
with...
KHUSSAY! (the shoes) from UNZE, Green street. Buy one get one half price. This week only.
AND THEN! MI6 burst in and drop Gyasi back in the action!
He gets completely pummelled in the Guacamole/Bafta war for JD.
You rip off the glittery hood of your glittery hoody to shield him. 'Everybody! DROP THE UNZE!', you cry.
Guacamole and Bafta are blinded by the bling and stumble backwards, losing their footing. And foot wear.
There's a sharp intake of breath from everyone.
SCREECH's HAIR!!!
The thing we have all seen 3cm of, but no more!!
IS EXPOSED!!
Everybody stops.
Freeze this frame people. Let's see where we all are:
Guacamole and Bafta have fallen over due to the blinded-ness.
JackDaniels is chuckling alone, with his gaggle of girls around him....so not so alone I guess.
Leon and Yoshi are trying to find a halal 'room'.
HiMar has gone back to being militant.
Nimbura is outside trying to steal the Vanquish with his new wifey while Bafta is still stunned. The new Bonnie and Clyde.
I'm still trying to convince people that Henney came and LEFT while y'all were unconscious. In fact, I'm shouting it into the ear of a decrepit granny with slippers.
MI6 are looking at us all like we're freaks.
And you're standing in the middle of it all with no hood on your hoody (from footlocker; closing down sale. Credit crunch you know).
Being your wedding planner, I grab the nearest shiny thing and chuck it at your head.
It turns out, the thing I've just chucked at your head is the foil paper from the main curry dish for your wedding meal.
A lone tear of curry makes it's way down the side of your face,
THEN CORMMA ARRIVES! The coven of recently married medics' association. All self righteous and thinking they're better than the singletons.
They start to pair people up:
Nimbura is long gone with the car.
Mooby and Bafta decide to get it together.
Guacamole marries Jack Daniels.
You marry Gyasi.
Yoshi and Leon have 'disappeared' (but 9 months later a very halal baby comes into the world, named ELMA after the mosque).
CORMMA leaves feeling very smug.
But then...
People start to take pity on me..
Because I'm alone.
And apparently crazy on my drugged tea.
Then the Mullah rips off his beard and thobe!
TO REVEAL HE IS DANIEL HENNEY!
AND MUSLIM!
AND HE PRESIDED OVER ALL YOUR WEDDINGS!!
And you guys were trying to marry me off to the mullah earlier and all along it was him!
He's presenting me with a ring!
We start to sing for all the newly weds.
We sing Aint no Mountain High Enough, to demonstrate that you guys have come and crossed many boundaries to get married..
MI6 men are crying in the corner. They think Muslims are beautiful and wonderful
And all the wars in the muslim world end. And then DH announces he has 4 cinderella carriages waiting outside!! And a white charger for him and me.
Turns out, he had got the pumpkins from the local market and had some fairy magic work from Prozac! Prozac the manic depressive fairy! (his parents weren't expecting him to end up the way he did clearly. He inherited the recessives..)
Prozac felt he had to do a good deed to get back in with us lot. He figured, doing the carriages was the least he could do.
So DH and I get onto the horse. And as the brides are getting into their carriages, you notice there's already a resident in yours!
It's SOLEIT! SHE MADE IT TO THE WEDDING AFTER ALL!!
Not only that! She fell in love with an MI6 agent!! A BROWN MAN!
She gets out and hops onto her MI6 agent man's motorbike, and they ride off into the sunset. She flies a banner as they leave. From a distance, we can just about read what it says: 'Abstain from pain!'
The brides proceed to get into the carriages.
Husbands ride on top. The way guys ride on trains in bollywood movies.
And we ride down to whitechapel.
Where all the people of East London unite in an amazingly choreographed dance spectacular!
Everyone has matching outfits, smiles and does the same dance moves in time!
Traffic stops as people dance around the traffic lights in saris and dhotis.
And everyone is joyful.

THE END

Indifference and neglect often do more damage than outright dislike

It seems that to counter the numbers of those that do not abstain although they are obligated to, there is an equal and opposite force of people who abstain out of choice.

It can really disappoint one.

I don't know how I should feel about this.

So I just won't.

Or at least I'll try not to.

When it rains, it pours.

Two wonderfuls in one day. Truly an intoxicating experience.

The one from last week came back today. This led to many a giggle between red and I. She even decided not to go and get a drink in order to watch how things panned out with river and I. River is my name for him.

The other wonderful was just the nicest of guys. Much jovial conversation occurred... I love when people (like him) are open and relaxed. And you can talk and be honest and not have to drive a sale. At the Hawk they're all about driving home the sale. Sell sell sell. Watching you like you are their baby Hawks trying to seize the fattest, juiciest, plumpest of prey.

That. Is. Lame. Play fair. Be honest. People will appreciate it.

I sound like the worst sales assistant on the planet.
O well. Not long left at the Hawk anyway.

And yet...today's customers, particularly the second wonderful (now christened Strudel)...
Strudel was just so adorable. I love when you discover people's quirks. Makes me wonder what kind of quirks I have that I always express.

Aside: Slim at the Hawk says I overuse wonderful...I dono. WHICH reminds me...I mustn't forget to have a good rant about the new kid on the block at work. Brat, let's call her. Complete and utter spoiled brat. She makes my skin crawl.

I like to talk. All the hawks at the Hawk say I become friends with the customers. Well..that's me. I like to talk to people and get to know them. I like that when they leave, they turn back and say 'It was really good talking to you'.

I like to leave a lasting impression.


Its days like these which make me think I'll miss the Hawk.

Through the Vine

'The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. '


Said by Diogenes. Which one? I don't know. Reading around on Google, I assume this is in reference to alcohol. However, do we not often auto-categorise things in our day to day lives into pleasurable, intoxicating and disgusting?

Intoxication is something that can be attractive and compelling and yet also sometimes something so powerfully repugnant it draws you in.

Verily, intoxication is troubling grounds.

Looking at my list of Rant-cid Milk, I was thinking which I would write about next. Men in suits give me a certain pleasure. Rotten children and adults alike disgust me...what intoxicates me?

I predict the next few entries falling into these three categories; pleasure, disgust and intoxication.