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Showing posts with label Laughing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laughing. Show all posts
Saturday, 1 August 2009
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
My nude awakening
Today, I made up a new word.
It is:
NudieBoard:
A collection of images from trashy magazines of things you like in compromising positions, with a similar colour scheme. ie. flesh tones.
Example:
Phyl: So I have this mood board of the things that I like. Purple and pink things yknow?
Syl: No you don't! It's all in flesh tones! NUDE
Mozz: It's a NUDIEBOARD!!
It is:
NudieBoard:
A collection of images from trashy magazines of things you like in compromising positions, with a similar colour scheme. ie. flesh tones.
Example:
Phyl: So I have this mood board of the things that I like. Purple and pink things yknow?
Syl: No you don't! It's all in flesh tones! NUDE
Mozz: It's a NUDIEBOARD!!
Sunday, 21 June 2009
I Can Has Cheezburger
It's been a bit of a nightmare-ish week, culminating in the mahoosive nightmare, my brother's wedding.
I'm not going to go into it. I'm just so immensely tired that I actually managed to fall asleep AT my laptop twice in less than 24 hours.
What's keeping me happy?--->LOLcats.
Gosh, I have been flicking through these pictures for almost an hour now and the time just flew by..
I love lolcats.
Here's a few I felt like sharing because they were o so cute. More cute than funny to be honest.
That was me every day for the past week. ^^
I'm not going to go into it. I'm just so immensely tired that I actually managed to fall asleep AT my laptop twice in less than 24 hours.
What's keeping me happy?--->LOLcats.
Gosh, I have been flicking through these pictures for almost an hour now and the time just flew by..
I love lolcats.
Here's a few I felt like sharing because they were o so cute. More cute than funny to be honest.
That was me every day for the past week. ^^
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Green Tea.
You're the one who'll be drugged to get wed to Gyasi and you'll get married in that Ilford Cultural centre.
Or if you're really swanky, in the East London Msque Hall. And you'll turn up in some old school merc outside ELM and you'll be wearing a black coat over your wedding outift.
Which would be a REALLY glittery red ...and gold.....
JEANS AND HOODY!
Then Gyasi will turn up with a giant beard, dressed in that brown duffle coat of his, in a safari jeep. And Yoshi will turn around and go, OMG, Gyasi's grown a beard. And she'll have that face on.
Then, she'll spot Mooby, hot on Gyasi's heels and say 'O he's nice' and she'll be planning how to do the bridesmaid-best man connection thing.
When SUDDENLY, MI6 arrive and cart off Gyasi. Why? Because he is brown, young, bearded and from East London.
And so you'll have to marry Mooby! And Yoshi will be hugely jealous....UNTIL!!
HiMar arrives! All dressed up in black and white checked regalia. And makes the announcement!! THAT LEON IS SUNNI!!
And Yoshi rushes into his arms!
And the Mullah begins the process of marrying Yoshi/Leon and You/Mooby.
But THEN!
Nimbura grabs the mic...to make ANOTHER announcement...he seems serious.
'Could the owner of the Aston Martin Vanquish double marked by the 80s merc (the bridal vehicle) please remove itself. It is blocking up the main road'
Typical East london style.
BUT BUT BUT!!
It's none other than Bafta! And she comes running!!
To announce that she has fallen for Nimbura and they are getting married!
SHOCKER OF THE CENTURY!!
You faint.
Yoshi faints.
NIMBURA faints!!
Bafta realises she's not making sense and has been drugged! SO SHE FAINTS TOO!!
It was something in her tea.
I'm left holding the mic with the hall spontaneously FAINTING around me...
AND THEN!!
AND THEN! Daniel Henney walks in! AND HE PROPOSES TO ME!!
I ask him if I'll be able to tell people or whether we should keep it quiet. He says it's fine and he'll pick me up after the wedding.
And like a dream, he leaves.
BUT THEN YOU GUYS COME AROUND! And I try and try and try to tell you he came and proposed! But none of you believe me.
I think it may have been something in my tea.
The Mullah returns after his extended bathroom break and you guys try to marry me off to him! Since he's he only single guy going!
AND THEN!
GUACAMOLE GETS IN ON THE ACTION!
She swans in on the arm of that french model dude.
But....her eyes meet with someone's across the room...
She slips away from the model man...
She's drifting across the 'dancefloor'...
Past the DJ you hired to play bhangra...
Dodging the mad Xena and her dance partner Ras Malaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai..
Shoes sticking to the fallen jalebis and the party popper strings we popped earlier in announcement of yours and Mooby's wedding..
AND STRAIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF NONE OTHER THAN JACK DANIELS!!
SHOCKER OF THE MILLENIUM!!
Meanwhile, Bafta is coming around, and now wants Jack Daniels too.
Nimbura feels on more steady ground and goes and marries his best friend in secret...
Bafta and Guacamole start fighting..
with...
KHUSSAY! (the shoes) from UNZE, Green street. Buy one get one half price. This week only.
AND THEN! MI6 burst in and drop Gyasi back in the action!
He gets completely pummelled in the Guacamole/Bafta war for JD.
You rip off the glittery hood of your glittery hoody to shield him. 'Everybody! DROP THE UNZE!', you cry.
Guacamole and Bafta are blinded by the bling and stumble backwards, losing their footing. And foot wear.
There's a sharp intake of breath from everyone.
SCREECH's HAIR!!!
The thing we have all seen 3cm of, but no more!!
IS EXPOSED!!
Everybody stops.
Freeze this frame people. Let's see where we all are:
Guacamole and Bafta have fallen over due to the blinded-ness.
JackDaniels is chuckling alone, with his gaggle of girls around him....so not so alone I guess.
Leon and Yoshi are trying to find a halal 'room'.
HiMar has gone back to being militant.
Nimbura is outside trying to steal the Vanquish with his new wifey while Bafta is still stunned. The new Bonnie and Clyde.
I'm still trying to convince people that Henney came and LEFT while y'all were unconscious. In fact, I'm shouting it into the ear of a decrepit granny with slippers.
MI6 are looking at us all like we're freaks.
And you're standing in the middle of it all with no hood on your hoody (from footlocker; closing down sale. Credit crunch you know).
Being your wedding planner, I grab the nearest shiny thing and chuck it at your head.
It turns out, the thing I've just chucked at your head is the foil paper from the main curry dish for your wedding meal.
A lone tear of curry makes it's way down the side of your face,
THEN CORMMA ARRIVES! The coven of recently married medics' association. All self righteous and thinking they're better than the singletons.
They start to pair people up:
Nimbura is long gone with the car.
Mooby and Bafta decide to get it together.
Guacamole marries Jack Daniels.
You marry Gyasi.
Yoshi and Leon have 'disappeared' (but 9 months later a very halal baby comes into the world, named ELMA after the mosque).
CORMMA leaves feeling very smug.
But then...
People start to take pity on me..
Because I'm alone.
And apparently crazy on my drugged tea.
Then the Mullah rips off his beard and thobe!
TO REVEAL HE IS DANIEL HENNEY!
AND MUSLIM!
AND HE PRESIDED OVER ALL YOUR WEDDINGS!!
And you guys were trying to marry me off to the mullah earlier and all along it was him!
He's presenting me with a ring!
We start to sing for all the newly weds.
We sing Aint no Mountain High Enough, to demonstrate that you guys have come and crossed many boundaries to get married..
MI6 men are crying in the corner. They think Muslims are beautiful and wonderful
And all the wars in the muslim world end. And then DH announces he has 4 cinderella carriages waiting outside!! And a white charger for him and me.
Turns out, he had got the pumpkins from the local market and had some fairy magic work from Prozac! Prozac the manic depressive fairy! (his parents weren't expecting him to end up the way he did clearly. He inherited the recessives..)
Prozac felt he had to do a good deed to get back in with us lot. He figured, doing the carriages was the least he could do.
So DH and I get onto the horse. And as the brides are getting into their carriages, you notice there's already a resident in yours!
It's SOLEIT! SHE MADE IT TO THE WEDDING AFTER ALL!!
Not only that! She fell in love with an MI6 agent!! A BROWN MAN!
She gets out and hops onto her MI6 agent man's motorbike, and they ride off into the sunset. She flies a banner as they leave. From a distance, we can just about read what it says: 'Abstain from pain!'
The brides proceed to get into the carriages.
Husbands ride on top. The way guys ride on trains in bollywood movies.
And we ride down to whitechapel.
Where all the people of East London unite in an amazingly choreographed dance spectacular!
Everyone has matching outfits, smiles and does the same dance moves in time!
Traffic stops as people dance around the traffic lights in saris and dhotis.
And everyone is joyful.
THE END
Or if you're really swanky, in the East London Msque Hall. And you'll turn up in some old school merc outside ELM and you'll be wearing a black coat over your wedding outift.
Which would be a REALLY glittery red ...and gold.....
JEANS AND HOODY!
Then Gyasi will turn up with a giant beard, dressed in that brown duffle coat of his, in a safari jeep. And Yoshi will turn around and go, OMG, Gyasi's grown a beard. And she'll have that face on.
Then, she'll spot Mooby, hot on Gyasi's heels and say 'O he's nice' and she'll be planning how to do the bridesmaid-best man connection thing.
When SUDDENLY, MI6 arrive and cart off Gyasi. Why? Because he is brown, young, bearded and from East London.
And so you'll have to marry Mooby! And Yoshi will be hugely jealous....UNTIL!!
HiMar arrives! All dressed up in black and white checked regalia. And makes the announcement!! THAT LEON IS SUNNI!!
And Yoshi rushes into his arms!
And the Mullah begins the process of marrying Yoshi/Leon and You/Mooby.
But THEN!
Nimbura grabs the mic...to make ANOTHER announcement...he seems serious.
'Could the owner of the Aston Martin Vanquish double marked by the 80s merc (the bridal vehicle) please remove itself. It is blocking up the main road'
Typical East london style.
BUT BUT BUT!!
It's none other than Bafta! And she comes running!!
To announce that she has fallen for Nimbura and they are getting married!
SHOCKER OF THE CENTURY!!
You faint.
Yoshi faints.
NIMBURA faints!!
Bafta realises she's not making sense and has been drugged! SO SHE FAINTS TOO!!
It was something in her tea.
I'm left holding the mic with the hall spontaneously FAINTING around me...
AND THEN!!
AND THEN! Daniel Henney walks in! AND HE PROPOSES TO ME!!
I ask him if I'll be able to tell people or whether we should keep it quiet. He says it's fine and he'll pick me up after the wedding.
And like a dream, he leaves.
BUT THEN YOU GUYS COME AROUND! And I try and try and try to tell you he came and proposed! But none of you believe me.
I think it may have been something in my tea.
The Mullah returns after his extended bathroom break and you guys try to marry me off to him! Since he's he only single guy going!
AND THEN!
GUACAMOLE GETS IN ON THE ACTION!
She swans in on the arm of that french model dude.
But....her eyes meet with someone's across the room...
She slips away from the model man...
She's drifting across the 'dancefloor'...
Past the DJ you hired to play bhangra...
Dodging the mad Xena and her dance partner Ras Malaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai..
Shoes sticking to the fallen jalebis and the party popper strings we popped earlier in announcement of yours and Mooby's wedding..
AND STRAIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF NONE OTHER THAN JACK DANIELS!!
SHOCKER OF THE MILLENIUM!!
Meanwhile, Bafta is coming around, and now wants Jack Daniels too.
Nimbura feels on more steady ground and goes and marries his best friend in secret...
Bafta and Guacamole start fighting..
with...
KHUSSAY! (the shoes) from UNZE, Green street. Buy one get one half price. This week only.
AND THEN! MI6 burst in and drop Gyasi back in the action!
He gets completely pummelled in the Guacamole/Bafta war for JD.
You rip off the glittery hood of your glittery hoody to shield him. 'Everybody! DROP THE UNZE!', you cry.
Guacamole and Bafta are blinded by the bling and stumble backwards, losing their footing. And foot wear.
There's a sharp intake of breath from everyone.
SCREECH's HAIR!!!
The thing we have all seen 3cm of, but no more!!
IS EXPOSED!!
Everybody stops.
Freeze this frame people. Let's see where we all are:
Guacamole and Bafta have fallen over due to the blinded-ness.
JackDaniels is chuckling alone, with his gaggle of girls around him....so not so alone I guess.
Leon and Yoshi are trying to find a halal 'room'.
HiMar has gone back to being militant.
Nimbura is outside trying to steal the Vanquish with his new wifey while Bafta is still stunned. The new Bonnie and Clyde.
I'm still trying to convince people that Henney came and LEFT while y'all were unconscious. In fact, I'm shouting it into the ear of a decrepit granny with slippers.
MI6 are looking at us all like we're freaks.
And you're standing in the middle of it all with no hood on your hoody (from footlocker; closing down sale. Credit crunch you know).
Being your wedding planner, I grab the nearest shiny thing and chuck it at your head.
It turns out, the thing I've just chucked at your head is the foil paper from the main curry dish for your wedding meal.
A lone tear of curry makes it's way down the side of your face,
THEN CORMMA ARRIVES! The coven of recently married medics' association. All self righteous and thinking they're better than the singletons.
They start to pair people up:
Nimbura is long gone with the car.
Mooby and Bafta decide to get it together.
Guacamole marries Jack Daniels.
You marry Gyasi.
Yoshi and Leon have 'disappeared' (but 9 months later a very halal baby comes into the world, named ELMA after the mosque).
CORMMA leaves feeling very smug.
But then...
People start to take pity on me..
Because I'm alone.
And apparently crazy on my drugged tea.
Then the Mullah rips off his beard and thobe!
TO REVEAL HE IS DANIEL HENNEY!
AND MUSLIM!
AND HE PRESIDED OVER ALL YOUR WEDDINGS!!
And you guys were trying to marry me off to the mullah earlier and all along it was him!
He's presenting me with a ring!
We start to sing for all the newly weds.
We sing Aint no Mountain High Enough, to demonstrate that you guys have come and crossed many boundaries to get married..
MI6 men are crying in the corner. They think Muslims are beautiful and wonderful
And all the wars in the muslim world end. And then DH announces he has 4 cinderella carriages waiting outside!! And a white charger for him and me.
Turns out, he had got the pumpkins from the local market and had some fairy magic work from Prozac! Prozac the manic depressive fairy! (his parents weren't expecting him to end up the way he did clearly. He inherited the recessives..)
Prozac felt he had to do a good deed to get back in with us lot. He figured, doing the carriages was the least he could do.
So DH and I get onto the horse. And as the brides are getting into their carriages, you notice there's already a resident in yours!
It's SOLEIT! SHE MADE IT TO THE WEDDING AFTER ALL!!
Not only that! She fell in love with an MI6 agent!! A BROWN MAN!
She gets out and hops onto her MI6 agent man's motorbike, and they ride off into the sunset. She flies a banner as they leave. From a distance, we can just about read what it says: 'Abstain from pain!'
The brides proceed to get into the carriages.
Husbands ride on top. The way guys ride on trains in bollywood movies.
And we ride down to whitechapel.
Where all the people of East London unite in an amazingly choreographed dance spectacular!
Everyone has matching outfits, smiles and does the same dance moves in time!
Traffic stops as people dance around the traffic lights in saris and dhotis.
And everyone is joyful.
THE END
Thursday, 13 November 2008
Rather funny facebook thread
Mozzarella wrote at 6:13pm on September 21st, 2008
I look...like a monkey
Sylverine (Queen Mary University of London) wrote at 6:42pm on September 21st, 2008
Are you being racist?
Ted (King's College London) wrote at 6:46pm on September 21st, 2008
To yourself?!
Mozzarella wrote at 6:50pm on September 21st, 2008
...Where is the racism in this?I'm saying, I look like a monkey. This makes me sad.
Sylverine (Queen Mary University of London) wrote at 6:53pm on September 21st, 2008
...the monkey bit...
Mozzarella wrote at 6:55pm on September 21st, 2008
HOW?!I look like a monkey!! MY FACE LOOKS LIKE A MONKEY!The least you could do is disagree! Not say I'm racist!
Sylverine (Queen Mary University of London) wrote at 6:59pm on September 21st, 2008
According to cricket, monkey is racist
Mozzarella wrote at 7:26pm on September 21st, 2008
O I see...I call everyone monkeys..and I'm not being racist. Shall I tell you why? Because life isn't cricket. Cricket it *your* life :)
Dink (Warwick) wrote at 10:08am on September 22nd, 2008
Lol. Everything about this page cracks me up :D
Mozzarella wrote at 10:50am on September 22nd, 2008
SOMEONE could disagree with me now re: monkey face
Ted (King's College London) wrote at 12:50pm on September 22nd, 2008
Oh sorry, Mozzarella... You don't look like a monkey you silly, um, banana?
Woman (Brunel) wrote at 8:46pm
I've just come across this. And laughed. Lots. :D
Mozzarella wrote at 8:52pm
O you're so evil
Sunday, 21 September 2008
Life imitates art
It must be wrong of me to aspire to live the american sitcom.
A while ago, Sylverine mentioned she couldn't wait till we're older and we could invite eachother over for tea and chat.
I finally get what she was on about.
I was just watching some random sitcom (My Boys) and I realised how much I wished I had an apartment door to close after a gang of my friends came 'round with food and drink for a night in.
Just an evening of good times yknow? Even if it's just settling in front of the TV to watch crappy stuff. Staying late because you're in a friend's home and not constrained by anything.
And then I thought about Will and Grace and Friends, and I adore that people are always dropping in just to hang out.
I want that.
And so I now take back my scoffing at Sylverine at wishing away our youth because now I see it.
I look forward to when I'm an older and more mature cheese (although mozzarella is best fresh), and I am going to have an eclectic apartment (in London?), which will be decked out with exotic things from my travels, and photographs taken by me, blown up and framed on the walls.
To this apartment I will invite Sylverine and hopefully other people who love me enough to overlook my atrocious eccentricities ( a nice way of saying idiocy).
Monday, 25 August 2008
I do not trust those who laugh too easily.
Why, with no laughter at our lips, does laughter reach through our fingers to the letters L, O, and L?
To laugh out loud is a biggie in my sphere of things. Especially at something I’ve read online and specially at something that someone has written in an msn conversation.
‘LOL’
What a space filler. It’s as though you’re avoiding the empty space between two relevant lines of conversation and have decided to fill it with lol. No. That’s not right. No one has made a joke. There’s nothing even remotely funny to even chuckle about.
‘LOL’
People who use ‘lol’ as punctuation make me want to rip my scarf off, then my hair out, then my face off. I growl at thee. ‘How are you, lol’, ‘Lol Happy Birthday’.
I mean, those are good examples. There are capital letters in that but seriously, lol for beginning or ending sentences? ON FACEBOOK?! Unless you’re batting a conversation back and forth on message/wall/chat, there is absolutely no space for lol on facebook.
‘LOL’
Unless, something really amusing comes along. How often does something ACTUALLY make you laugh-out-loud? Online, on screen, facebook, msn, youtube whatever. I’ve physically laughed out loud reading some articles, seeing some pictures, watching some videos. But most of the time, it’s an inward chuckle or a mini snort through my nose. Never laughing out loud. On these occasions I personally type ‘ha’ or ‘hehehe’ or I do a smilie face like so, :).
So why is it that something like lol is thrown in so casually everywhere. I mean, it’s getting even worse with LMAO and ROFL and dare I say it ROFLMAO. These, I understand you don’t actuallydo. I mean, it’s impossible to laugh an ass off, and I’ve tried! They’re just to emphasise how hard you’re laughing. But when they’re tossed in as casually as lol. Well that takes the biscuit.
‘I do not trust those who laugh too easily. The heart of a fool is in the house of mirth.’
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