Green Tea.

You're the one who'll be drugged to get wed to Gyasi and you'll get married in that Ilford Cultural centre.
Or if you're really swanky, in the East London Msque Hall. And you'll turn up in some old school merc outside ELM and you'll be wearing a black coat over your wedding outift.
Which would be a REALLY glittery red ...and gold.....


JEANS AND HOODY!
Then Gyasi will turn up with a giant beard, dressed in that brown duffle coat of his, in a safari jeep. And Yoshi will turn around and go, OMG, Gyasi's grown a beard. And she'll have that face on.
Then, she'll spot Mooby, hot on Gyasi's heels and say 'O he's nice' and she'll be planning how to do the bridesmaid-best man connection thing.
When SUDDENLY, MI6 arrive and cart off Gyasi. Why? Because he is brown, young, bearded and from East London.
And so you'll have to marry Mooby! And Yoshi will be hugely jealous....UNTIL!!
HiMar arrives! All dressed up in black and white checked regalia. And makes the announcement!! THAT LEON IS SUNNI!!
And Yoshi rushes into his arms!
And the Mullah begins the process of marrying Yoshi/Leon and You/Mooby.
But THEN!
Nimbura grabs the mic...to make ANOTHER announcement...he seems serious.
'Could the owner of the Aston Martin Vanquish double marked by the 80s merc (the bridal vehicle) please remove itself. It is blocking up the main road'
Typical East london style.
BUT BUT BUT!!
It's none other than Bafta! And she comes running!!
To announce that she has fallen for Nimbura and they are getting married!
SHOCKER OF THE CENTURY!!
You faint.
Yoshi faints.
NIMBURA faints!!
Bafta realises she's not making sense and has been drugged! SO SHE FAINTS TOO!!
It was something in her tea.
I'm left holding the mic with the hall spontaneously FAINTING around me...
AND THEN!!
AND THEN! Daniel Henney walks in! AND HE PROPOSES TO ME!!
I ask him if I'll be able to tell people or whether we should keep it quiet. He says it's fine and he'll pick me up after the wedding.
And like a dream, he leaves.
BUT THEN YOU GUYS COME AROUND! And I try and try and try to tell you he came and proposed! But none of you believe me.
I think it may have been something in my tea.
The Mullah returns after his extended bathroom break and you guys try to marry me off to him! Since he's he only single guy going!
AND THEN!
GUACAMOLE GETS IN ON THE ACTION!
She swans in on the arm of that french model dude.
But....her eyes meet with someone's across the room...
She slips away from the model man...
She's drifting across the 'dancefloor'...
Past the DJ you hired to play bhangra...
Dodging the mad Xena and her dance partner Ras Malaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai..
Shoes sticking to the fallen jalebis and the party popper strings we popped earlier in announcement of yours and Mooby's wedding..
AND STRAIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF NONE OTHER THAN JACK DANIELS!!

SHOCKER OF THE MILLENIUM!!
Meanwhile, Bafta is coming around, and now wants Jack Daniels too.
Nimbura feels on more steady ground and goes and marries his best friend in secret...
Bafta and Guacamole start fighting..
with...
KHUSSAY! (the shoes) from UNZE, Green street. Buy one get one half price. This week only.
AND THEN! MI6 burst in and drop Gyasi back in the action!
He gets completely pummelled in the Guacamole/Bafta war for JD.
You rip off the glittery hood of your glittery hoody to shield him. 'Everybody! DROP THE UNZE!', you cry.
Guacamole and Bafta are blinded by the bling and stumble backwards, losing their footing. And foot wear.
There's a sharp intake of breath from everyone.
SCREECH's HAIR!!!
The thing we have all seen 3cm of, but no more!!
IS EXPOSED!!
Everybody stops.
Freeze this frame people. Let's see where we all are:
Guacamole and Bafta have fallen over due to the blinded-ness.
JackDaniels is chuckling alone, with his gaggle of girls around him....so not so alone I guess.
Leon and Yoshi are trying to find a halal 'room'.
HiMar has gone back to being militant.
Nimbura is outside trying to steal the Vanquish with his new wifey while Bafta is still stunned. The new Bonnie and Clyde.
I'm still trying to convince people that Henney came and LEFT while y'all were unconscious. In fact, I'm shouting it into the ear of a decrepit granny with slippers.
MI6 are looking at us all like we're freaks.
And you're standing in the middle of it all with no hood on your hoody (from footlocker; closing down sale. Credit crunch you know).
Being your wedding planner, I grab the nearest shiny thing and chuck it at your head.
It turns out, the thing I've just chucked at your head is the foil paper from the main curry dish for your wedding meal.
A lone tear of curry makes it's way down the side of your face,
THEN CORMMA ARRIVES! The coven of recently married medics' association. All self righteous and thinking they're better than the singletons.
They start to pair people up:
Nimbura is long gone with the car.
Mooby and Bafta decide to get it together.
Guacamole marries Jack Daniels.
You marry Gyasi.
Yoshi and Leon have 'disappeared' (but 9 months later a very halal baby comes into the world, named ELMA after the mosque).
CORMMA leaves feeling very smug.
But then...
People start to take pity on me..
Because I'm alone.
And apparently crazy on my drugged tea.
Then the Mullah rips off his beard and thobe!
TO REVEAL HE IS DANIEL HENNEY!
AND MUSLIM!
AND HE PRESIDED OVER ALL YOUR WEDDINGS!!
And you guys were trying to marry me off to the mullah earlier and all along it was him!
He's presenting me with a ring!
We start to sing for all the newly weds.
We sing Aint no Mountain High Enough, to demonstrate that you guys have come and crossed many boundaries to get married..
MI6 men are crying in the corner. They think Muslims are beautiful and wonderful
And all the wars in the muslim world end. And then DH announces he has 4 cinderella carriages waiting outside!! And a white charger for him and me.
Turns out, he had got the pumpkins from the local market and had some fairy magic work from Prozac! Prozac the manic depressive fairy! (his parents weren't expecting him to end up the way he did clearly. He inherited the recessives..)
Prozac felt he had to do a good deed to get back in with us lot. He figured, doing the carriages was the least he could do.
So DH and I get onto the horse. And as the brides are getting into their carriages, you notice there's already a resident in yours!
It's SOLEIT! SHE MADE IT TO THE WEDDING AFTER ALL!!
Not only that! She fell in love with an MI6 agent!! A BROWN MAN!
She gets out and hops onto her MI6 agent man's motorbike, and they ride off into the sunset. She flies a banner as they leave. From a distance, we can just about read what it says: 'Abstain from pain!'
The brides proceed to get into the carriages.
Husbands ride on top. The way guys ride on trains in bollywood movies.
And we ride down to whitechapel.
Where all the people of East London unite in an amazingly choreographed dance spectacular!
Everyone has matching outfits, smiles and does the same dance moves in time!
Traffic stops as people dance around the traffic lights in saris and dhotis.
And everyone is joyful.

THE END

Yellow Fever

It's been a month since my last post, so I guess I intend to try to make this a good read for my readers reader (hi 'Sylverine').
The past month has been a bit hectic with uni and lots of coursework deadlines. But it's also been a brilliant month in terms of my planning of my future and ahemYellowFeverahem. To counter the length (and lameness) of this post, I will be putting in pretty pictures.

Today, I had to present my research proposal on sexual selection at 9.30. So I got to my local station at 8:20 so I could get to the Dictator bright and early. HOWEVER, somebody had taken ill on the train ahead of us, which meant I got to Victoria at 9:05!! *shock* 30 minute train ride?! what WHAT?! Disastrous. I needed to buy tights because my legs were freezing under my skirt, but NO TIME!! THERE WAS A QUEUE!. Ogh. Dreadful.
Anyway, I managed to make it just in the nick of time to find I was LAST. To do my presentation. LAST! O the drama.
O well, after getting more and more nervous and watching some rather brilliant presentations, I had to do mine. It went ok, but only later did I realise I used the words 'sperm', 'high quality' and 'monopolise the goodness' in ONE sentence. How unbelievably embarassing. It took me back to that day in bio with the gerbils and the ...well..you remember.

Later in the day, Schooto, Mong and I tried to get high on relentless. It took a while to kick in really. And even then, it was only for a short time. Boohoo. On the bright side, I got to share my love of the yellow with them. And now I shall with you.

Song Seung Heon and Kwon Sang Woo. Two actors I discovered in my watching of korean chick flicks. So much love for them. They are soo funny. And although Kwon Sang woo doesn't seem to photograph well, he has a brilliant smile in My Tutor Friend. Song Seung Heon and his children's fairy tale scene in 'The Guy Was Cool' still makes me giggle. Every time. He's in a Kdrama East of Eden too. Must watch I think.
Also a must watch is the film with BOTH of them in it,together! Fate. The picture here is the poster for the film.

From Korean Chick flicks, I moved into KPop. Bi Rain is a megastar (conquering Asia and stepped into the US) and initially I was fangirling out about him. But then, I saw the making of one of his videos and he just had NO personality.

And so my current favourite band for their awesome AWESOME ness is DBSK (Dong Bang Shin Ki). As guys they are hilarious and as singers they are powerful. Dancing isn't all that bad either (FANTASTIC). They're like every boy group rolled into one, and according to Sylverine, Girls Aloud too (I don't see it).

Considering they're such funny guys, there aren't many candid shots.
This link makes me tres happy, while this one makes me sad.


Taiwanese drama anyone? O YES please!! 'Miss No Good' starring Mandopop stars Pan Wei Bo and Rainie Yang. So cute. SO lame. But just happy smilie making. Dean Fujioka is SO pretty. And he's a GUY!. Ogh..just so...cartoon like in his perfectness.

Finally we have Daniel Henney. Half Korean and Half American. Phwoar he's man. I've shown him around and nobody denies that he is a bit of fit. Not even Schooto! And she thinks I'm an absolute loser with my Yellow Fever. Yet she still has to concede that the Henney is a bit of phwoar.
I was sharing him with Schooto and Mong when SurprisedbutGreatHair(SbGH) drops by to discuss our impending practical write up on Rotifers. He sees the Henney on the screen and hangs his head like 'What on Earth...' At one point his head was in my elbow (for a tall guy this is a long way to bend), and I thought, thank Goodness today was Chanel Mademoiselle day and not that foul BerryDelicious (DKNY). It was an odd moment.
Anyhoo. SbGH thinks he doesn't have an American accent. He so does. Which is odd, considering he didn't go to an American English type school. Odd really.

O the Daniel Henney.
I endeavour to go to the X Men-origins movie premiere. I wonder if he'll turn up.
Enough rambling for today. More another day. I'm sure you look forward to it :D

Slowly in my mind formed the idea of melodrama

So basically, there I was, moping around the house. It's Friday, I have work tomorrow. I have to do a pick up before I get to The Hawk. I physically can't bear to think about it.
On top of that, I'm moping due to the belief I have no friends and no one to go out with on a nice day like today.
Then! Hark! I hear a click from my handbag.
Remembering that I left my phone in my handbag last night, I scramble across quilt, laptop and various other bits and bobs to see what the click reads!
O..it's a text asking how my day is...bloody lame that's how...
O BUT WAIT!! There is another text message.
It's none other than a text inviting me out for fun, games and movies in South Ken with folk from The Dictator at 11:30 am...sent last night...
Wait...am...it was then 14:00 and I am checking my phone for the first time...I have missed the occasion by 3 hours...o bittersweet time how it passes me!

Ought I to seek solace in the fact that I do have friends?...or mope in the tardiness of my phone checking...

And so I returned to my moping..

Sylverine says I'm a drama queen. I'd love to say I beg to differ, but I don't.

'So slowly in my mind formed the idea of melodrama, a form I found to perfection in American pictures. They were naive, they were that something completely different. They were completely Art-less. '
And here is the rest of it.